Learn These 7 Simple Steps and Stop Getting What You Don't Want

 

Finding the true cause of the problem or difficulty you're facing is the most important first step on your journey to changing your life for the better.

And for most people that is the major obstacle to finding a real solution; for if you can't uncover the true cause, because you don't know how to do it; then how can you create a solution? Would you agree?

Here is a quick and simple formula for success The Seven Simple Steps and I am gifting this to you now so you can begin the task of finding out why you are getting what you don't want from life... Today! 

Step 1... Your Hierarchy of Needs.

What you don't know is, there is a big difference between Wanting something and Needing it and it's this... 

Imagine for a moment that you're out shopping and suddenly you have an urge to pee. Unlike when you want to have a cup of coffee, you can choose whether to have one or not. 

When you Need to pee, you Must Do So otherwise, well...nature will take it's course. It's Not a choice. And your first step is to understand this difference between your Wants and your Needs.

Your Needs Always Come First... Your Need for Food, Shelter and Warmth is often described as your Basic or Survival Need. And it's easy to understand why it's described in that way. An adequate and sustainable supply of food and water is the basis for deciding on where to find shelter and warmth. 

Next is your Need for feeling Safe and Secure in that environment you have chosen to live in. And you do that by protecting yourself, your source of food and your place of shelter and warmth. Imagine for a moment that you were in a war zone. It's likely the last thing on your mind is where to go dancing on Friday night. 

When that's done, you begin to notice how your are relating to the others in your immediate family and community. Your Need feel you Belong and are Accepted and Loved by them. And you judge this by their behaviour toward you.

This sense that you are Loved and Valued by those in your family and community satisfies your in built Need For Self-­Esteem and is a reflection of your knowing you make a valued contribution to the greater good. In other words, this box is ticked when you are living with a family, in a community where you feel safe, secure, loved, respected and admired for your contribution.

When you don't have to worry about where the next meal is coming from and that there is clean water and a healthy environment to live in. Your confidence in yourself and your abilities begins to express itself in a different way. 

Your Need for Self-­Expression becomes overwhelming. Suddenly you begin to have ideas you want to implement and changes you know will make things better...for yourself and others. You are now striving to be the best you can be in the things you do and to create an environment where love, peace, joy, laughter, happiness and abundance reign.

Why Things Go Wrong... The mystery is, how do you know when one of your Needs is at risk? It appears you also have an in­built radar which sole job is to scan your outer world, looking for threats and when it finds one, sets an alarm bell ringing in your psyche. 

And this little bell keeps on ringing until you deal with the threat and make everything safe again. The only problem is, you don't consciously know why the little bell in your psyche is ringing. Your only awareness is you feel fearful, anxious and constantly worry about seemingly random 'stuff' but the truth is, you have never been taught that the little bell is your intuition trying to communicate with you. 

You also have never been taught how to speak it's language so you can identify the reason for your anxiety and learn the correct way to rectify the situation. Both the cause of and the solution to your problem lies within you, if only you know how to communicate properly with your amazing intuition.

In other words, when you Want something but your intuition believes in achieving that, one or more of your Needs is under threat, then you will be subconsciously driven to protect that Need by sabotaging your Want. 

You are effectively, working against yourself and that is why you end up not getting what you Want but what your psyche believes you Need. 

Did You Notice That? I said 'what your psyche believes you Need' which leads me to the other reason why things go wrong.

You Are Unique... There are no two people on this planet who are alike and what this means is....all those in­built Needs mean different things to everyone! And, what you have been taught by others to believe is true about yourself, effects your self-­esteem and your relations with your outside world. 

Step 2... Now that you know the reason why you are getting what you don't want is because of the conflict between your Want and your ; the next step is to discover what that conflict is. 

Discover Your True Needs... How is that done? Simply look at each of the different Needs we covered in Step 1 and ask your self the following questions.

"Why do I believe I Need [...]?"

"In what way do I Need [.....]?" 

"Why do I believe I Need it that way?" 

"How will I feel if I don't have it?" 

"What do I believe to be true about this Need?" 

"Why do I believe that?" 

If you do this, you will begin to identify the conflicts that already exist within yourself which lie at the heart of the problems you are facing.

Step 3: Resolving The Conflicts... This is a two stage process which begins with uncovering your True Needs. Ask yourself the following four questions. 

"If I could do, be and have anything I want in life guaranteed. What would that be?" 

"How will it look" 

"How will I feel?" 

"Why do I want it?" 

The question "Why" will generate a response which will begin with...

"Because [...]"

What follows..."Because [...]" is the Need you are driven by your psyche to satisfy

Step 4 What You Really Want... In Step 3 you asked yourself, what you could do, be and have if there was no barrier to that. If this is so important to you ask your self this. 

"Why don't I have it already?" and write a list of all the reasons you believe are preventing you. 

Looking at the list which follows that question, separate the Reasons from the Excuses and ask yourself for each of these... 

"What will I have to do to overcome this obstacle?" 

"Am I willing to do that?" 

"Why am I willing/not willing to do that?" 

Step 5 Uncovering False Beliefs... Science has proven, following years of experiments that, what you believe to be true, becomes so. 

This fact is known in Medical Science as The Placebo Effect and to Psychology as The Self ­Fulfilling Prophesy. 

But here's the thing...the beliefs you have don't have to be based on facts they can just as easily be based on fiction. 

This is evidenced by the thousands of books written about people who die, because they mistakenly believe they had a killer disease and others who don't die when doctors told them they have got a killer disease. 

It comes down to what the individual believes to be true and Steps 3 & 4 are to help you uncover your embedded False Beliefs by asking yourself...

"Why do I believe [...]?"

"Is this belief based on Fact or Fiction?"

Step 6: The Key To Living Happy... When completing these seven simple steps , you may find some or indeed all your Needs are driven by False Beliefs about yourself, other people, the world we live in, science, health, wealth and the meaning of life. 

Typically, a False Belief is identified by a False Belief Statement such as... "I can't do that because I'm....[too stupid...not good enough... too fat...too skinny...a man...a woman...too old...too young etc, etc]" And on and on it goes. 

But when you then ask yourself..."Is that really true about [...]?"  "How do I know it's true?" This is your first step in challenging those False Beliefs and it only requires a little bit of research for you to have the confidence to completely ditch that False Belief and accept what you now know is true about yourself, other people and the world we share.

You are Living Happy when your Needs are in harmony with what you really Want!

Step 7: Making It Real... To Realize something means to take it from your imagination and make it a real thing. But thinking is not enough. What is required is action by you, to make it so. 

There are literally millions of books and articles written by many learned souls on how to do this. But all of it can be distilled into one simple action step. 

When, after completing Steps 1 to 6, you know what you really want and why you want it... Ask yourself..."What must I do to get it?" 

Whatever the reply, make this commitment to yourself... 

"I will do whatever it takes to get what I really want." 

And It Will Be So

I am always available if you need help or advice on any questions araising from this article.

Thank you for reading this.

Kindest regards,

Frankie Mallon